It takes one spark

The previous blog showed me that there needs to be one spark, to write a blog that will turn into something way bigger. I think I’ve never written that personal as in my last text. Of course there have been personal blog, but this one really went deep. It touched my own feelings. In the past I was kinda afraid to go this far. I was afraid to make a fool out of myself. I was scared to go that deep, because it might cause me pain. Then there is also the overthinking part. After I write a blog, I tend to think a lot about what I’ve written. But now, now it mostly felt good to write this personal. It opened something new for me, made me realize something. This is the path I wanted to go when I started to write blogs, but always was afraid to do so.

I always had this idea of not writing about certain subjects. Subjects that got too close to me were a part of that. It just felt like it went too far for me to share everything. I even felt that while writing the previous blog. I wanted to write it, don’t get me wrong. But how could I make it as personal as possible, while not going too far in? Too be honest, I just stopped thinking about it. That blog was a request from someone else, and I just told how I feel, what’s on my mind. It turned out to become my most personal blog, and to my opinion, the most beautiful one I’ve ever written. This all happened because of one request, and me taking the courage to write about our friendship. There once was a time where I thought writing was easier than speaking about my feelings, and it still kinda crosses my mind, but it was special to write about something so close.

After I published the blog, I immediately felt the urge to keep writing. It is not that I knew about what I would write, I just wanted to keep going down the path I chose for that blog. Let’s keep going down the road of writing as personal as possible. I’m really thinking about it. Maybe it will be what I’ll be mostly doing from now on. Let’s see if I can keep going through that obstacle that kept me from writing this personal. It probably will be hard, but if all my blogs will turn out like the last one, I will be very happy.

Normally I also tend to write mostly for myself, writing about what’s on my mind. This was really the first time I asked someone to give me something to write about. So I wasn’t only writing for myself anymore. Of course I still need to be happy with what I write about, but this time I also had to touch someone else’s soul. I hope I did. It’s what kept on going in my mind while writing the text. On the other hand, it also kinda wrote itself. The words appeared so easily on the screen. I think that that’s probably because it was 100% honest. The words really came outside of me, they were my feelings. Maybe that’s also why I am so happy with the result.

Let’s see how this spark will turn out to be. I think it opened doors for me, which I need to enter, and explore what’s inside.

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