Day 17: Don’t know what to write, and looking forward to my time off

Okay, so it is getting harder to get myself tow write each and every night. The problem is not that I don’t have any ideas. I have plenty. The thing with a lot of those ideas, is that they take a while to write a blog about. Most of my ideas at the moment are ideas for blogs that are more suitable to write when I have time off. Then I can invest all the time and energy in them that I want. I also think that after being sick last week, and not writing blogs at all, really did something to my writing flow. I just have to get back into that flow again. The only way to do that, is to keep showing up. Even though this will be a short blog, at least I wrote one. Tomorrow will probably be a short blog again also. I most probably will try to write an haiku again.

But yeah, how did the rest of my day go? Today was nothing special to be completely honest. I notice that I am really counting down to the 28th of January. On that day I will go to Spain for six days. I really need that change of environment. It is not that I am trying to flee from problems or my feelings, but I think this trip will really be good for me mentally. After that, I will come back way stronger and revitalized, I know that for sure. But I have to wait until Saturday the 27th of January, 17:35, until my two weeks off commence. I really can’t wait anymore.

For now I will just do my thing, managing my store and prepare to hand it over to my colleagues when I am gone. Because I will be gone. During my time off, work is an absolute no-go. It is time to relax then. I will have two weeks off, so after my trip to Spain, I still have some time to relax at home. I will most probably spending that time reading books, playing videogames, and of course writing blogs. But I really need to leave work behind me for those weeks, which is really hard. I am a control freak. When I know something went wrong, or needs to be fixed, I want to be the one to fix it. Only then I will have full control over the result. But I really need to get rid of that feeling. So I will do that by removing my work mail from my phone and laptop, and muting certain groups and people, so I won’t pay attention to work when I have time off. I sometimes even do that in my weekends, only to really take some rest.

It is funny that in the process of writing this blog, it already turns out way longer than I thought beforehand. That always happens. I just start writing and keep writing. For me, free writing is the most fun way of writing. The thing is though with these kind of blogs, is that they can become very incoherent. When I write completely free, I really can go in every direction you can think off. Texts that have written freely though are the most fun ones to read back for me. They give me inspiration, and also can make me laugh. Sometimes even I really can’t comprehend what I created. Free writing really is fun, and it is the kind of writing everyone can do. Just start writing about a small piece of your mind, and continue on that. Start writing and don’t stop. Don’t even think about what you are writing. Only read the text back after you finished it. It even helped me to get my perfectionism under control.

When I think too much about what I write, my perfectionism kicks in. When that happens it can really suffocate me. I won’t write anything then, or won’t be happy with anything that I write. When I do some free writing, I just keep writing until I think I have written enough. Most of the times when I free write a blog, I don’t even read it back until I publicize it. That really hits perfectionism back in its place again. So that is why I like free writing, and why I think everyone should try it.

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