You will always take you with you

Ever since I came back from my holiday in Spain, I’ve been feeling kinda down. I still enjoy doing things, but it is just the immense decrease of energy that has been bothering me. Of course I didn’t think that going to Spain would be the miracle cure to everything I’ve been dealing with lately. During my stay there though, I really thought that I’ve got my priorities straight again. I made plans, and was really motivated. I even started a new blogging series: Path Of Life. So how come all this good energy was gone after I got back home again?

You will always take you with you.

Now, I don’t want to say that every day was a mentally good day in Spain. Leaving for another country will not fix all your problems. You’ll always take you with you. I knew that. But even though I still had a lot to think about in Spain, it was somehow easier to deal with everything. Maybe as soon as I got back in the Netherlands, reality kicked in again. Believe me, I would have loved to stay in Spain for another couple of months, but my vacation isn’t endless. Soon it would be back to the daily grind for me. I noticed way before my vacation, that I am a bit done with that daily grind. Everyday the same: wake up, work, eat, sleep. That routine 5 times a week, luckily being interrupted by the weekend. But in that weekend, the first day always consists of recharging my energy, to maybe do something on the second day. In the past I didn’t need to recharge. I just went through that barrier, and already did a lot on the first day of weekend. But something apparently changed.

Maybe it is because I am mentally drained of energy. There is nothing wrong with my physical energy. I know that, because sometimes I do still break through that barrier, and just enjoy both days of the weekend. No, I just have way too much thoughts on my mind, stuff from the past, the present, and the future. It is easy to say to just live in the moment, but it is not that easy. If it would be, then I would do that instantly. I just tend to worry a lot. That has always been a problem. I thought I had control over it now, but I think it started again because a lot has happened, so it is some kind of a overload of thoughts. Up to me to get control over them again, and get my energy back.

Tuesday I will go back to work again. Even though I don’t hate my work, I’m not looking forward to starting again. I could use some more weeks off. The holiday in Spain detoxed me of the daily grind. I just enjoyed every single day, and lived healthier as well. It also really helped that the weather in southern part of Spain is way better than in the Netherlands. I don’t like the cold, grey weather here. It’s sometimes really depressing, and I know that there is something called a Winter Depression. So if that is also what I’m experiencing now, I think the best cure is to just stay in a warm country for 6 months every year.

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